Dear Mom…
A Mother’s Guide to Her Bride or Groom’s Big Day
Dear Mom,
The time has finally come. Your not-so-little one has gone from taking their first steps to walking down the aisle. You’ve been there for every milestone along the way and their big day is no exception.
In honor of Mother’s Day, we’re celebrating the women that gave us life by highlighting their key role in the wedding planning process. While we’re aware that moms already know everything, we’ve put together the ultimate guide to ensure that you are fully prepared - before, during, and after - your bride or groom’s celebration.
There’s No Support Like a Mother’s Support
You’ve celebrated your daughter or son’s engagement and are now helping them jumpstart the planning process. Your first, and most important, job on this journey is to be there to support. When they say that “a mom’s job is never truly over”, they mean it. Although your child is approaching a new chapter in their life, they may still need your help in writing their story, leading up to the day that they say “I do”.
Mothers are some of life’s greatest support pillars and during a sometimes-stressful planning process, your presence can become even more comforting. Outside of providing emotional and moral support, here are a few ways to be there for your bride or groom:
Offer advice and guidance: As a mom, you may have valuable insight and experience with wedding planning that you can share. Help guide them through this course by lending your knowledge and different perspectives about the do’s and don'ts.
Attend meetings and appointments: The planning process can be extensive and often requires a time commitment dedicated to various meetings with planners and vendors. Attend tastings, dress fittings, or assist with any other task that needs to be checked off of their list.
Manage family and friend dynamics: With every celebration comes the possibility for tensions to arise in different relationships. Help manage these dynamics by communicating with family members, friends, and the wedding party. Set barriers and diffuse any potential conflicts to help alleviate some of the pressure off of the couple.
Remember, support does not mean smother. While your involvement is important, it’s still THEIR day, so be sure to respect their wishes and choices. Continue to lead them in the right direction without stepping over any boundaries. From dress fittings to first dances, your company alone can make the world of difference to their experience.
Finding “The” Dress
The bride’s mother is traditionally there to accompany her daughter in finding the right dress. Brides, while your friends can offer you valuable opinions and praise when needed, chances are that your mom will be the most dependable when it comes to receiving honest feedback.
These dress shopping tips are sure to prepare you for one of the most exciting times during her transition from Ms. to Mrs.
Guide the bride: Your opinion of the dress matters and sharing it in a supportive way can be super helpful in making her decision. Provide your feedback on the fit and style, while reassuring her that alterations and adjustments are common to making it fit like a glove.
Her day, her dress choice: While you may envision your daughter in a specific styled gown, it’s important to be open minded about her choices. Stay receptive to all of the different design options - they may surprise you!
Capture the moment: Wedding dress shopping is an incredibly special occasion for both mother and daughter. Be sure to capture all of the joyous smiles and expressions of this intimate and unforgettable day, along with the different dress options for your daughter to look back on if she leaves undecided.
Joining your soon-to-be-bride in this experience will provide you with the opportunity to catch the first glimpse of her wearing the most important dress that she’ll ever purchase and one that you’ll never forget.
Tie in Traditions
Weddings aren’t just a special day for the bride and groom, but for their families, too. As a mom, you have a chance to tie in those special traditions and plant the family heirlooms that will remind the couple of where they came from. Here are a few ideas to help identify the things that matter and pay homage to their foundation.
Standout symbols: Talk with the couple about what stands out to them from their upbringing. Perhaps it’s a symbol that represents your love for one another or a specific momento that was passed down from generations - like a grandmother’s wedding band that your son could pass on to his new wife. By incorporating family heirlooms, you can create a truly unique experience that speaks to the heart of those you hold closest to you.
Thoughtful traditions: Many families have cultural or religious traditions that are important to them. This could be anything from a traditional dance to a special meal. Highlighting those personal customs can help strengthen the meaning behind different ceremony events.
No practices, no problem: If you don’t have any family traditions, not to worry! Weddings are a great opportunity to create new memories and rituals that you can look back on and know that this special day was the initiation of those new practices.
Each ceremony is a representation of all of the little pieces of who each person is, coming together in unification. Let the day exemplify all of the things that make them, them.
Plan Your Mother-Son Dance
The mother-son dance is one of the most precious acts throughout the whole wedding celebration. It symbolizes the love and unbreakable bond between a mother and her son and provides for a moment that will forever be cherished. As the mother of the groom, use these tips to help you plan the perfect dance:
Special song choices: Choose a meaningful song that speaks to the connection that you share. Perhaps it’s a symphony that unlocks a core memory between you two or has a special significance to your family. Whatever your choice, make sure that when it comes on you’re instantly reminded of the millions of reasons why you love each other.
Set your own pace: Your dance is exclusive to you and your level of comfortability. If you prefer to keep it casual vs. choreographed, that’s okay! Don’t force something that’s unnatural for performance-sake. Stay true to what feels right for you both, so that you can be present with one another.
The time is yours: Don’t rush through your dance. This is an instance that you won’t ever get back. Take your time, savor each step, and soak up the entirety of the routine.
Whether you opt for an elaborate waltz or a simple sway, use this time to display the unbreakable bond between a mother and her son.
Shop for Your Mother-of-the-Bride/Groom Dress
The second most important dress of the day is yours! Take the time to shop for the perfect mother-of-the-bride (or groom) gown. Here are some points to guide you in the right direction so that you can say “yes” to the dress, too.
Coordinate with care: Traditionally speaking, the mother-of-the-bride has the first choice on dress design, but every wedding is different when it comes to their wedding day etiquette. Coordinate day-of fashion with the couple and their soon to be in-laws.
Consider all elements: The season and venue can influence your ensemble choices, as well. Take into consideration potential weather or venue restrictions that could impact your level of comfortability when dressed.
In style & on theme: In most cases, the wedding you’re a part of will have specific color schemes or themes for you to follow. Long are the days of strict matronly dress guidelines. However, your dress can both showcase your personality and align with the wedding theme, at the same time.
The most important thing is to wear something true to you. Afterall, you deserve to feel beautiful and confident on this day, too.
The Moment Won’t Last, Make Memories That Will
After all of that planning and shoulder-lending, remember that when the day finally comes to simply embrace every minute of it. Everything you’ve done, up and until this point, has led your child to this very moment. A special day that’ll be over before you know it, but cherished forever.
Oh, and moms, one last thing - thank you for getting us here. We couldn’t have done it without you.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Learn more about how to get started with the wedding planning process or get in touch today.
